Good morning, friends! I hope your day is going well. Mine is, at least so far, and I think God just might've had something to do with it. Come along and see if you agree.
I got up this morning and got ready for work. As I was letting my car warm up I started praying. I've just started a new job, which I'm grateful for, but since I didn't have a full-time job for three months and a part-time job for one, I'm flat broke. I'm literally down to my last two or three dollars. So I was asking God for a financial miracle. In my mind I was thinking something big and dramatic, like hundreds of dollars coming seemingly out of nowhere. Childish I know, but hundreds of dollars are what I desperately need to even begin to catch up on my bills. At the very least, I was hoping far a little something so I could buy some food, gas, and a Christmas present for my great-niece, Madison.
Well, I get to work and discovered that I was supposed to be there at 1pm, not 8am! I didn't get upset though, which was a miracle in itself because I don't deal with change very well. Instead, I was happy for the chance to come home and spend the morning drinking cocoa and blogging. But before I left work, I asked the toddler teacher what she wanted me to do with the babies since I was going to be in her room this afternoon. She showed me her schedule, then I remembered to ask what the pay schedule was because I hadn't had a chance to ask the director. Here's where the miracle comes in: we get paid every week! Every Friday is pay day!
Now that might not seem like a miracle to you, but it sure does to me. This means that I'll be paid today for the two days I worked last week. I'll have money for food and gas now instead of having to wait another week which would mean I'd go hungry. Plus, with pay day being every week I can start to build up some income sooner and have money for Madison's present. I asked for a financial miracle and I think I got one! Now I have to make sure I don't sabotage myself with doubt.
Doubt is a big problem for me because so many times I thought my prayers were answered but they weren't. I can count on one hand the times I know for certain that God answered my prayers. God has been so arbitrary in my life, answering a few relatively minor requests then letting really big needs go unfulfilled. That makes trusting Him very hard. But maybe that's the meaning of faith, believing not just in God but in His goodness even when He doesn't show it. That's a daunting task. You can be a giant of faith, like C. S. Lewis, and still sink into an abyss of despair over God's enigmatic (in) actions. If that can happen to the giants, what's to become of faith midgets like me? I guess we just have to cling to our teeny, tiny miracles. They may be the only ones we get.
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